My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
