oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
