Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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