So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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