Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
