You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
