Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
