oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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