Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
id be glad to
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
