Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
