He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
