I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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