If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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