I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
