I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
