I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
