whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
