I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
