Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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