I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Randomize
