Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
from now on my penis is your penis
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
