brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
