Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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