It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
