you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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