Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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