so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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