so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Randomize
