just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
