I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
