Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm both gender and math confused
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
