i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
