No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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