I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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