one two three fourrrrnication!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
