That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
