she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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