I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
