hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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