Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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