Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
