There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
