love makes seman taste better
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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