dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
