Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
