What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
