Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
