I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
