I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
you inspire me to be a worse person
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
