So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
